do you speak english?

I studied all the pictures in magazines and books

I memorized the subway map too

It's one block north to Macy's and two to Brothers Brooks

Manhattan, I prepared for you

Well I can’t say I’m as prepared as Millie, but this song/musical has been a bit of a soundtrack for my German adventures! I’ve spent two days here and have managed to navigate myself to a couple of places, sans GPS. I’ve already had a few run ins with natives, and used the S-bahn and U-bahn (Berlin’s metro) successfully.  But I’ve been a bit surprised by how self conscious I am about the language barrier.

Gestern war kalt, windig, und regnerisch. 

Yesterday was cold, windy, and rainy.

Not wanting the rain to hinder my adventures, I set out to the nearest grocery store to buy and umbrella. Because of course, even though Rick Steves told me too, I didn't bring an umbrella. After searching the store and finding all sorts of random things, none of which were an umbrella, I had this conversation with a worker.

"Do you speak English?"

"No. "

Uhh... So I smile and walk away. I take another cursory look around the store still find no umbrellas and continue back out into the rain. Now there were a couple of things that were surpriseing about this. First of all, she didn’t speak English. If there was one comment I kept hearing about people in Germany it was, “oh they all speak English.” Second of all, she didn’t seem interested in trying to work through the language barrier, simply said no and went back to her work. Nor did she attempt to direct me to another member of the store that spoke English. She was perfectly conyent to let that be the end of it. So as I walked back out into the cold rain I thought about what I could have done to improve the situation. Well first of all I could have asked her if she spoke English, but in German. I know how to say, “Sprechen Sie English?” This would at least show that I was trying and perhaps she would be more willing to help. Or I could have said “Ich möchte…” or “Ich brauche…” or “Haben Sie…” and then mimed an umbrella – that not having been one of my vocab words. But I hadn’t wanted to say any of those things. Why? Well I thought about it and realized I’m embarrassed. Embarrassed that I’m a grown, educated woman but not actually educated enough to ask a question that a native toddler could manage.  Now, I know, I know, I’ve only had two years of high school German about ten yeast ago, it’s understandable that I’m struggling. “Give yourself some grace!” my roommates would say. And I will, but I want to explore this a bit further. I would rather correctly and accurately speak my own language than have to mangle another in front of someone who will certainly know when I do. When it comes down to it, I’m being prideful. Too proud to struggle in front of a stranger. I ponder this for a while longer and come upon another store that looks like it might sell umbrellas. I get up my courage and go in.

The store is deserted so I walk directly to the counter and wait for the employee to acknowledge me. He does and I now timidly say, “Sprechen Sie English?” He shakes his head no. Oh boy… I then proceed to mime an umbrella (not difficult since It’s currently pouring) and he nods his head yes and points me to a pile on a shelf right next to the door I came in through. I buy the umbrella and he even takes of the wrapping for me after I paid. Phew! I got what I needed and the local didn’t point and laugh! I did, momentarily have to mime like a child, but I’ve gotta get over that. I’m going to make mistakes, a lot of them. And now that I’m living here among Germans I don’t just get to make mistakes in class.

So to sum up, I think this whole experience will be very good for me, in more ways than just learning the language. I’ll also be learning to put aside my pride and just fail at something. Practice is the only way I’ll improve. Maybe next time I can ask what the word for umbrella is. :)